Fifty plus and beyond

Getting older, getting better


o The Older Traveller: ...Children will gravitate to you. Local women will be protective, and you’ll suffer less from unsolicited male advances...If you’re experiencing the hot flashes of menopause, pack a wardrobe of ‘layers’ that can easily be adjusted to your fluctuating body temperature."
- Advice for the Woman Traveller, Department of Foreign Affairs and International Trade

o "Most journalism is about young women and middle-aged men. But young women haven’t done anything yet. Middle-aged women have lived through so much; this is a great untapped subject."
- Canadian Malcolm Gladwell, writer for The New Yorker magazine, who loves doing stories on middle-aged women. Interviewed in The Toronto Star.

Ah, the different ways of looking at middle-aged men and women. The different ways we see ourselves. I even hesitate to be writing this at all, to be saying, ‘Look at me, a middle-aged woman’.

Is it different past 55 to want to grow, to learn, to travel, to exercise, to feel romantic, to have friends of all ages? C’mon, we’re a lot more than wrinkle cream.

One day, I was looking for a birthday card for my friend Laurie. A sign of aging, no doubt, is that the funny cards just weren’t funny. For instance, one card listed ‘Ten Things We’re Still Too Young For’: "10. Plastic rain scarf. 9. Tissue box cover made of yarn. 8. Adhesive shower floor daisies. 7. The once-a-week hairdo. 6. Drawer of newspaper clippings. 5. Huge vinyl purse with a padded strap. 4. The seven-day pill organizer. 3. Tissue in every pocket and/or sleeve. 2. Shaky lip outline. And the number one thing we’re still too young for: Finding a second use for bread bags."
I’m 57, and it’s not like that. It’s not like that at all.

I am heartened by the friendship of women over 60 whom I admire and hope to emulate. Women like Roseanne who runs marathons, Helen who travels alone for months to Mexico and Central America, Cynthia who laughs and shares and makes you feel good to be with her.
It is a paradox that my childhood and teens can seem so far away, and yet like yesterday. A blur of fuzzy memories, usually governed by worrying too much and relaxing too little. It took a long time, but I have learned that lesson now. I approach 60 with more serenity than I had at 50. I am taking chances and enjoying life.

Sometimes I feel as if I’m trying for the Guiness Book of Records for most things done badly within 24 hours. Other times I am so greatful to still be learning and growing. I have run eight marathons and look forward to running 50.

I am a before and after in my life, but the difference is internal, not makeup. I can say with amazement that since the age of 50 I have learned to run marathons, to cycle to work, to swim laps, and to cross-country ski. Starting from 0. It frustrates me terribly that I can’t do any of those sports faster, or with the perfect form. How I wish I had received this divine inspiration sooner, and that I had the "body memory" of sport learned in youth. But I look forward, not back.

I have a friend who shrugs, "anyone can do an Ironman if they do the training." To my surprise, I now know that’s right. And there is no shame in "doing the training" no matter how long it takes, or when you start.